You work out of a Hotel?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The uberlube is also flammable
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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