Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
