If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize