Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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