Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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