If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize