That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
