its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
