You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize