Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
