so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize