Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
