john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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