Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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