yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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