How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I looked at my own cervix.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
