He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
