Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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