by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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