And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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