OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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