is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
