they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
