I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize