i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There was a lot of him and a little penis
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
