allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
