I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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