i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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