dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
