why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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