Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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