Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
