it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize