I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
