he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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