his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
