I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
How's work?
Spinning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
