they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
