Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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