How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
