can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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