I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize