The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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