Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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