I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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