btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
