Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
