But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
