can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You can't motorboat a personality
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
