I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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