And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize