he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
