some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
