No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
