Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
