Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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