Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize