When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I need moral support for this bender
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
