we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
