8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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