Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Randomize
