If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize