i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
