I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the condom got lost in my hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
