you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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