I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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