whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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