I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
