Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
