I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
