do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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