The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
