I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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