I just pynch a tree in the face
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
